Awe

Awe.

In the past week, there has been an announced divorce, a wished-for divorce, family misunderstandings, and family reunions. 

There have been strokes, break-ups, and car accidents.

There have been near-deaths, near-revivals, and much, much travel.

There have been bug bites.

(And hugs and cribbage and chocolate…)

To summarise: there has been much Life. 

A short text thread seems to best capture my current sentiments:

A: Sorry it ended up being a weirder day than intended, will call later

B: Weird days will happen

A: And yet they seem so frequent…

B: Well life is also pretty weird 

FACT. It would be quite easy, very justifiable even, to leave the conversation there.  And yet… and yet Sunday morning also happened.

It was 0550. I was huffing and puffing on the Orbea, trying to survive/start my 48M bike ride. I didn’t pay much attention to the time, other than trying to focus long enough to get out the door.

… but others did.

Going south on Rt 12, passing through Kitty Hawk, I started noticing the silhouettes of people on the beach. “That’s odd,” I thought. “It’s so early…”And then I looked up.

I looked up, and I saw the rising sun before me—pink, shimmery, and every other pedestrian (but accurate) attribute.

These people had all gathered, singularly and together, to join in a much larger communion.

… I don’t know if that one glimpse tangibly helped me to finish those miles. I don’t know if the sunlight helped the wind, or the silhouettes imbued my pedals with magic (probably not). But it was a good reminder, in a moment when I was so focused on “pushing,” and “finishing,” and “getting the job done.”

Yes, there is chaos. There are misunderstandings, and missteps, and accidents. There are plans, and broken plans, and plans gone awry.

AND 

There is still awe.

There is still a big, big world

A big, big Life.

And MUCH we do not know.

Addendum:

This draft was written on Monday… six days later, I still don’t know a lot of things.

And it’s still good.

Because the sunrise? The pausing in awe? The shoulder to shoulder, standing together in difficulty, in wonder, in silent appreciation? 

That’s still there,

Too.